priscillaxmn

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu

Sat, 25 Feb 2006 00:36:58 GMT

13 months living in China. 3 months backpacking thru Southeast Asia. 2 months staying with my family in the Philippines.

I had told people I was leaving to learn Mandarin, see where my family’s from, etc. It’s true but not entirely. I said it mostly cuz it’s easy for others to understand. But, really, I left because I didn’t know anymore what kind of life I wanted to be living, didn’t know if I liked the one I had. So I removed myself from all that I knew in search of clarity.

The result? I speak passable Mandarin and want to learn more. I saw our old family home and interviewed some of my family members. And I got a small window of clarity to help me re-learn what I enjoy, what’s important to me.

I go back to the USA today. This is the last entry in my blog. Hope to build my own website by the end of the year, but this is it for a while. It’s been real, it’s been fun. In fact, it’s been really fun.

Goodbye Home. Hello Home.

state of emergency

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 11:09:21 GMT

http://manila.indymedia.org/?action=newswire&parentview=6862

President Arroyo declared a "State of Emergency" today. I haven't been allowed out of the house today, just in case. I've been watching the news all day, seeing policemen beating unarmed protesters. I don't know what's going to come of it all. Everyone knows Arroyo cheated during the elections, don't know how she plans to hold the country together cuz people clearly aren't backing her. What's the alternative...?

SF International Asian Film Festival 3/16-3/26

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 23:48:28 GMT

promote Asian American Film!

Kieu is showing 3/19 at Kabuki. My friend Ly-Huong is involved & the movie should be really good. Please watch!

25 books a year

Wed, 08 Feb 2006 23:50:34 GMT

I read somewhere that people should read 25 books a year. That's like one every 2 weeks. I don't know anyone who does that. I've been on vacation for 5 months & I've still only read 15 books. And I was so proud of myself. Sigh. Here's what I read:

Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond
Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Wild Swans by Jung Chang
Good Scent from a Strange Mountain by Robert Olen Butler
The Quiet American by Graham Greene
She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb
Girl With a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier
How Stella Got Her Groove Back by Terry McMillan
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
Return to Paradise by James A. Michener
Life of Pi by Yann Martel
Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner
Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates by Tom Robbins
White Oleander by Janet Fitch
The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus

Any recommendations for what 10 books should be on my reading list for the next 7 months?

made me laugh

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 23:45:44 GMT

"People want to know why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy - and I keep it in a jar on my desk." - Stephen King

organized religion

Sun, 29 Jan 2006 23:50:32 GMT

Went to my first Chinese Buddhist ceremony. Interestingly, it's a lot like a Catholic Mass. People reciting, singing, repeating, kneeling, & standing in unison. Facing an altar with 3 gods on it. Having holy water flung at you. Filing in line to go up to the head guy, kneeling with hands folded in front of him. Instead of a wafer in your mouth, he paints a red dot on your forehead. After an hour, it's pretty much over. You get the option of going to different prayer stations to pray for a particular thing, like health, love, wealth.

The main differences were the new year celebration flourishes, like giving everyone "ang bao" (literally means "red envelope", perhaps better translated as "lucky money"), the pretty cool lion dance, & the firecrackers.

I was a little disappointed. I had thought it would be different, like more spiritual, peaceful, deeper. The really short ceremony we had at my uncle's house in the morning meant more to me. About 8 dishes were prepared and placed at an altar for my maternal grandparents. Then each of us were given incense sticks, silently greeted our ancestors & prayed for whatever was in our hearts, and that was it. Honoring the past, being with family, and food. What better way to begin the new year?

happy chinese new year!

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 23:59:42 GMT

Those born under the sign of the Snake are:

Well-bred, attractive, and irresistible. Philosophical, deep thinkers, calm, intelligent, mysterious, emotional, intuitive, possessive and flirtatious. Admired for their helpfulness, generosity, wisdom, and gentleness but sometimes self-critical. Sentimental and romantic with a subtle sense of humor. Naturally lucky but should not be provoked since is a vicious loser.

For my Yin Fire Snake brethren born between February 4th, 1977 and February 4th, 1978, here is our horoscope for the lunar new year (as published by the Manila Bulletin):

You have a Robbery Star under your sign, so you have to be careful in handling your financial situation. Money luck is good and you can have profits from your business and work or you will have the chance for promotion. Otherwise, you may either change jobs or start your own business. Money is easy come and easy go. Therefore you should not be a loan guarantor for your friends and relatives; otherwise you will be encumbered by them and it will bring trouble in the months to come. You have to save money for a rainy day and budget your expenses well. Try to minimize all unnecessary expenditures. Married persons might have a newborn baby and single persons will have the opportunity to meet their dream lover. For your health, you have to beware of your diet and it's better to have an annual check up with your dentist as you may have problems with your teeth.

and then there was one

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 00:07:00 GMT

About 2/3 of my relatives live in the Philippines, while the rest are mostly in the US. We had a mini-reunion where 14 of us from the States came to the PI. I was the first with Irene to arrive, so I saw the rest arrive and, one-by-one, leave. Now I’m the only one still here who still refuses to face reality & responsibility.

Life here is leisurely (lots of time to read, eat, watch DVDs, & shoot the shit) and fun because I have over 40 awesome family members to hang out with. The drawbacks are

1. Not seeing V, the rest of my family, & my friends
2. Lack of independence
3. Being sedentary
4. Dwindling bank account

So I finally bought my plane ticket back to the US. I arrive at LAX on February 25th (tho I’m considering changing it to a week later…). But I must admit that I may still be in a state of avoidance cuz I’ll be staying at my parents’ house in the OC for an undetermined length of time…so my ETA in “real life” is…sometime in…Spring 2006.

god, country, & boxing

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 09:54:31 GMT

Despite the yumminess of Oscar De La Hoya, I don't like boxing. But I discovered that there's no way I could be in the Philippines and not watch the Morales-Pacquiao fight. From 1:30 - 3:00 PM all of Manila was glued to the TV. I was at Chili's (yes, the same one of babyback ribs jingle fame), drinking a San Miguel, watching two men try to knock each other out. It was front page news, priests referred to it at Sunday mass, and politicans were quoted on it. 80 million people declared: "God is on our side. Pacquiao will win." A little presumptuous, I thought, considering that Mexico is also overwhelmingly Catholic. But, as Round 10 ended with the ref stopping the fight to keep Morales from getting seriously damaged, perhaps they were right.

There are moments in the US when its people seem united, like during the Olympics or 9-11. But it's kinda nutty when it's a boxing match, and not even a titled one. Question: why do Cuba & Russia totally dominate Olympic boxing?

Happy New Year & Photos!

Sat, 31 Dec 2005 18:32:51 GMT

Happy New Year!!! I rang it in with my family & friends in the Philippines on the rooftop of my uncle's house. Manila was rockin' with lots of music, yelling, & tons of fireworks. Then we have a midnight merienda of noodles with hardboiled eggs, warm pandesal, & cake. Life can be good.

I finally posted some pics of my travels. It's about 50 pics, which is just a fraction of what I've taken, but it covers a good breadth of what I've been up to these past 3 months. I'll add more later. Enjoy!

http://flickr.com/photos/priscilly

island fever

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 01:47:18 GMT

Spent the last 2 weeks on 2 infamous islands: Bali & Borneo. Very different experiences for me. Bali was all about fancy hotels, swimming pools, shopping, beautiful sunsets, & good food. The only indication there had been a terrorist attack this year was the emptiness of the place. Borneo was orangutans, granite mountains, lush forest, spectacular sunrises, & dirty dorm rooms. Both have mosquitoes, rain, deforestation, & really nice people.

The joys of traveling. One day you can be lounging in your own private swimming pool, sipping a cocktail. The next day you can be on a strenuous hike in the rainforest praying that you have enough water to make it to the top.

Goodbyes

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 00:55:02 GMT

I came to the workcamp in the hope of being able to provide some kind of tangible support or change for the sex workers & children who live here. I wasn't able to do much & they're all still living the same life as before I came. But one thing that we did do for the women was show that we're not embarassed or afraid or critical of what they do. That we can talk with them, joke, listen, without the stigma that usually feel with others. And almost all of the IIWC volunteers said that the workcamps help them build more confidence & become more open-minded. They don't feel embarassed speaking English anymore. They can speak out & give presentations at meetings, they care about the issues. What they're really doing is building a movement of young people in Java & it was so awesome for me to able to see this first-hand & contribute a little to it.

As for me...besides the satisfaction of helping, I also got other things. The children taught me how easy & nice it feels to trust and love openly. I learned a traditional Javanese dance. I believe that there are good and nice people everywhere. And our taxi driver recognized us & remembered our names from the newspaper!

But these experiences leave me a little uncomfortable. It's so weird to spend an intense 10 days becoming so close to people & to a neighborhood, only to leave after a short time, possibly forever. The Indonesian people we met host workcamps all the time, the foreigners just come & go. They gotta get tired of this. Are any of these friendships real, is the change real? It just feels like moments, moments I undoubtedly appreciate, but moments nonetheless. Maybe some of y'all can give me some perspective on this?

indonesian men need small condoms

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 12:46:47 GMT

So we basically are living in a huge red light district. During the day it seems like just any other old neighborhood, actually pretty chill. But yesterday was nuts. We were told ahead of time that Saturday was a very busy night here & that the more popular sex workers can service over 10 clients in just one day. But it's another thing to see the swarms of men with my own eyes. Guys on motorbikes everywhere, cars with 3 or 4 guys coming in together, taxis driving in clients. It costs 1000 rp just to get in the gates of the 'hood & these guys were definitely here to visit the prostitutes.

In a lot of ways, having the women together in one place is safer than having them walk the streets. The people know each other, help each other. There's the medical clinic close by and the women can wait for customers in front of their own homes. But it's still so crazy to see all the guys that flood the place.

We passed out condoms & HIV/AIDS info to the men, & I hope that at least some of them used them. A lot of the women told us that most of the men don't like using condoms & feel like that since they're paying, they want to get the "full sensation." Some get angry when the women try to insist on it. Sometimes the guys will hit them or go to a different woman. I don't get it. If you were going to have sex with a prostitute, wouldn't you be *more* likely to use a condom???

where are you going?

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 12:24:34 GMT

One of the things that made me happy about traveling in Asia is that I thought I wouldn't stand out so much & wouldn't have to deal with annoying comments. Once again, I was wrong. Of course, wandering around with a big-ass backpack screams tourist, but I hadn't realized how much my clothes and mannerisms would make me stand out. But the thing is that everyone knows I'm not from where we are at the moment but they don't know where I'm from.

I'm in Indonesia now. In order of frequency, this is what locals think I am: Japanese, Korean, Indonesian, Chinese, Thai, Filipino, Malaysian. If I hear "konichiwa" one more time, I'm going to freak. I'm sure people do it to be friendly and to get my attention to sell me something and to maintain an image that Indonesian welcomes tourists, but after hearing it fifty times a day (no joke), it gets darn annoying. I'm sure it sounds awful, but I'd just like to spend a day walking down the street without anyone talking to me.

The second question people ask after "where are you from?" is "where are you going?" I read that this is like Americans saying "how are you?" or the Chinese saying "Have you eaten?", which is mostly said as a greeting or conversation starter or to be polite. But I still get taken aback when people ask me where I'm going and I want to get all bristly and say "none of your business!" Then I take a deep breath and try to nicely reply "just out walking."

It's been hard for me to keep things like this in perspective and to get used to these little cultural differences. But I just really want to be left alone. To not have strangers talk to me. To not have things yelled at me on the street. To not have 5 people in a row ask me the same question. To not have all of Indonesia speak to me in Japanese. Just to have a relaxing vacation. Too much to ask?

china blogs

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 14:16:26 GMT

China's Sexual Blogolution
http://www.alternet.org/story/28145/

Lost Sparrow, Sister Lotus and other Chinese women are changing the rules between the sexes -- and prompting government censorship -- as they post intimate details of their lives online.

***uh, my blog is pretty g-rated in comparison, so if you want to read about what chinese women really think, check it out. maybe my blog will sound more exciting if i get a cool code name. any ideas? by the way, i'm still looking for a domain name for my website, so please send any ideas my way!

purdy

Wed, 09 Nov 2005 13:52:14 GMT

Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia. So overloaded on colonial architecture, the American War on communism, & temples/palaces. In Thailand, I guess the north is a big tourist spot for hilltribe trekking, but I didn't really feel like staring at villagers like they're in a zoo, so we just headed to the beach.

It is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! (sorry i don't have pics up yet...)

Yes, it's touristy & over-developed & over-hyped, but I've never seen beaches this gorgeous before. Koh Pha Ngan on the Gulf of Thailand & Koh Phi Phi on the Andaman Sea. Clear turquoise water, soft white sand, pink sunrises & sunsets. So nice.

But then you get a little too sunburned & it's time to move on. Hello Malaysia!

3 chilis makes me cry

Wed, 09 Nov 2005 13:45:50 GMT

We took a Thai cooking class (http://www.thaicookeryschool.net) to pass the time. Lots of garlic, shallots, lime, lemongrass, and chili. I still suck at cooking and a bad curry can be really bad. Although we did have a curry in Laos that tasted like Cool Ranch Doritos, no joke. It's amazing how simple it can be to cook when you have all the ingredients washed and ready, all the right utensils, and someone to wash the dishes. Thai dinner party when I get back for any brave souls!

Random side note: The school has a monkey named Billy who lives in the backyard. Our teacher told us she was very naughty. But she looked very innocent. Until she grabbed Irene's recipe book and took a big bite out of it. Bad monkey!

one night in bangkok

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 11:39:08 GMT

Other travelers kept telling me to avoid Bangkok: traffic is a nightmare, truck drivers are on speed, constantly badgering salesmen, scam artists everywhere, sticky dirty city. Get out, head for the hills or the beach, I was told. But we spent 3 nights in Bangkok and it was lovely. Traffic wasn't bad at all & they have a great skytrain and a boat system for public transit. No one bothered us, not even at the train station or when we got off the bus. There are beautiful temples everywhere and the temperature was quite nice. The roads are smooth and paved and lighted, which is a dream compared to Cambodia and Laos.

And my ultimate highlight of Bangkok: I got to feed a baby elephant on the street. Its hair was quite prickly. And its pupils looked dilated. And I don't know why it was okay for it to be on the streets of Bangkok. But it was still rather small and cute and I got to feed it. :)

oh, the life of a traveler, so hard, woe is me

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 13:46:25 GMT

I have a story about when I visited Chile. It was one of those days where just one disaster happened after another. Sitting in the back of the bus, windy mountain road, to the El Tatio geyser 5000m up. Completely carsick and with altitude sickness, joyfully exit the bus to be greeted by the stench of sulphur, puke. Repeatedly. It's freezing so we take a soak in the natural hot springs there. Strip down to our bikinis, get in the water. Not hot, tepid at best. Then it starts to snow, etc. You get the idea.

So I had a wonderful day like that in Vietnam. Join a tour of the Mekong Delta. See coconut candy being made, get to hold a python. Good times. Board the mini-bus to take us to the Cambodian border for the night. What we're told is only a 2 hour drive ends up being 6. Pouring rain, potholes everywhere. We stop at a place for dinner, lights go out leaving us in darkness. Back on the bus, almost there, then Irene & I scream. We're sitting in the front & our driver hits a girl on a motorbike. She's more or less okay, thank god. Get to our hotel after 10 PM. Told we have to be downstairs at 6:15 AM, leaving us only 8 hours. Get in the room, 10 cockroaches, just chillin. Huge, don't move. We proceed to kill all of them & a few mosquitos. It's really gross. We sleep, I wake up at 3 AM with 2 burning spots on my arm from bug bites.

Get downstairs 6:15, but we just end up waiting in the lobby 'til 7. Bus doesn't show up, so they pile 15 backpacks on a cyclo & we walk to breakfast. Go to the boat dock & get our bags. Irene's isn't there. Turns out they left it just sitting outside the hotel. Get on the boat, but there's too many people. So we volunteer to move to another boat since our backpacks are on top & easier to move. Operator says "don't bother moving the bags, we'll take care of them." We're a bit skeptical at this point, but whatever. Original boat has cushioned seats. New boat we move to has wooden planks. There's a curtain to block the rain, but it's not long enough for the whole boat. We sit in the back, but the operator moves the curtain so it protects the people in the front.

So here we are in Cambodia, exhausted, soaked, & with sore bums. Sigh.

what's so funny about peace, love, & understanding?

Fri, 21 Oct 2005 15:00:42 GMT

Every Vietnam guidebook has a list of "must-see" sites. Wedged between water puppetry and silk shops are the Cu Chi Tunnels. But this isn't any regular tourist attraction. It is a testament to how f**cked up the Vietnam War was. The War Remnants Museum in Saigon has more in-your-face shock value, with deformed Agent Orange babies in jars and a guillotine (plus a poignant exhibit dedicated to the photojournalists who lost their lives in the war), but the tunnels are a total mind job.

Cu Chi is a village 40 km NW of Ho Chi Minh City, a major VC stronghold. The US stopped sending in ground troops because they kept getting killed, so by air they dropped bombs and chemical warfare day & night. In the tunnels, the VC slept, cooked, made weapons, and hid.

Most of them have collapsed now, but there are a few 100m stretches open to tourists. They're small (I'm short enough to walk through bent over, but most people have to crawl) and pitch black (tho there are some points with lights now for tourists). You know it'll be fine, but even going just a few meters, knowing that the only way out is to keep going or crawl back (but you can't cuz other tourists are behind you), with not a lot of air, in a tiny tunnel, in the dark, drenched in sweat, panic starts to set in. Disturbing.

The other feature at the tunnels are the booby traps the VC set. Before the bombings, they didn't have any resources, so they used bamboo. They were crude but effective, holes in the ground, covered with dead leaves so an unsuspecting soldier would fall through & become impaled with sharp bamboo spears. So creepy to see in real life. As more artillery was left/destroyed, like bombs and tanks, they would take the scraps & fashion new weapons out of them. For both sides, every time the enemy figured out a way to get around the weapons, they would become more & more innovative in killing people. Such a messed up waste of intelligence & energy. Such a waste.

I See White People

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 03:24:41 GMT

Hanging out with other foreign travelers. Sometimes a good thing, sometimes bad.

After a grueling 14-hour bus ride from Laos to Vietnam, we arrived in pouring rain and with no idea how to get to Hanoi, 300 km away. We were 5 pairs traveling (a couple from France, 2 couples from England, 2 girls from Denmark) and I'm so thankful that one of the Brits took charge in getting us a minibus and food. When we got stranded in Hanoi at 3:30 AM cuz the bus wouldn't drop us off where we had been promised (& paid for), another Brit took charge of arranging taxis to the Old Quarter. It would've been really distressing on our own, but I didn't have to worry or think about a thing. I felt like I should take back all the things I had said about hating hanging out with other foreigners.

We decided to get drinks that night cuz it seemed a shame to say goodbye after spending a hellish 24-hours straight together. But when we were hanging out, I felt increasingly distant from them. Like they enjoyed hanging out with each other just a bit too much and foreigners get that nasty habit when they're together of criticizing and ridiculing the country they're in. I think they feel really isolated and different here & find comfort together. But as an Asian and someone who grew up in "Little Saigon", Vietnam doesn't feel very strange or exotic. It's true that I have more in common with the travelers, but I also can recognize similarities and familiar things between me and the Vietnamese people, which makes hanging out with all these white people a bit uncomfortable.

I met 3 Americans in Laos. One was so happy to see other Americans and wouldn't stop talking about it. One made fun of a beggar. And one, who I was getting really near a waterfall with, proudly declared, "See, only us Americans would be so daring." And he pronounced Laos "lay-ose" and did push-ups in front of everyone in the water. Why are Americans like this???

happy bunny

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 10:45:40 GMT

congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud

which happy bunny are you?
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I love Happy Bunny. Take the very short quiz.

Fun things to do at Internet Cafes in Laos.

I heart Laos

Fri, 07 Oct 2005 14:20:24 GMT

China has lots of amazing & fascinating sites, but there's something about the massive tour groups with matching caps and the abundant signage that takes away the romance & mystery of it all. People watching & Chinglish are interesting in their own right (current fave sign in hotel: "Beware of your belongings!"), but not quite the same.

Traveling in Laos is totally different. There's still a wild, raw side. Like kayaking down the river with no one else around. Village children who giggle & pretend to hide (but in reality want to be chased) when they see foreigners. Cows, pigs, chickens, water buffalo who roam the roads. Old rickety buses piled with rice bags and where the passengers share snacks with strangers around them. Eating a picnic lunch of sticky rice & bamboo shoots spread on banana leaves with your hands.

It really is a beautiful country. Visit before it becomes totally commercial!

The Bus Marathon

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 06:49:19 GMT

We got on the bus on Saturday at 8 PM. Finally got off the bus on Monday at 11 AM. After almost 40 hours of grubby bus living, so happy to finally take a shower!

We left Lijiang on a sleeper bus & arrived back in Kunming on Sunday morning. Then we chilled at the bus station for a few hours & got on another bus heading to Jinghong (southern China). We were supposed to arrive Sunday night, but the bus broke down! Surprisingly none of the passeners were angry or irritated & seemed to take it all in stride. So we didn't get in until 6 AM. Then we got on another bus heading to Mengla (a bit farther south) at 7. Our driver was young, played pop music really loud, & drove those curves like nobody's bizness. We still have yet another bus tomorrow morning heading into Laos. Whew.

I've been keeping busy by knitting a rectangle that will one day resemble a scarf while Irene reads "Guns, Germs, & Steel" aloud to me.

Everyone we meet on the bus thinks were Korean.

Main Street USA

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 11:26:17 GMT

I'm in Lijiang, a city about 9 hours northwest of Kunming. It's so beautiful and charming with traditional architecture & cobblestone alleys, and it's completely geared toward tourists. Chock full of inns, western cafes, and souvenir shops. A little gross but still so cute & it might be our last chocolate milkshake for a while. Catching an overnight bus & will hopefully be in Laos in 2 days.